Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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