I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
