brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We left the knife in your bed.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
