Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
