Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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