i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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