i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
