Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
