I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
