great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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