why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
