You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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