Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
