my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
