I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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