That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
All the doctor said was why
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
