No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
