Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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