And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She's the barista slut.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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