come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
