question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
