everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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