oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
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