what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
