Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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