it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I am one with the molecules
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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