We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
