i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You are a genius and a whore.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
