She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
