Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
