I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
