He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
