I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
