I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
