she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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