I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
