Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
