we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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