I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Someone shit on the floor
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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