Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
