Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
