i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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