I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Drunk is not a location!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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