Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i dont even know how to be here
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
