so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize
