Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
