You just made me feel so damn special
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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