It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Two words: nipple clamps
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