you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
