What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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