drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
